Ok, I want you to do something.  Grab a piece of scrap paper and write down your 3-5 top priorities in your life.  These can be whatever you want them to be – family, career, your relationship, friendships, education, relaxation, health, leisure, a favorite hobby, a particular aspiration – whatever.  Got it?  Ok, good.

Priorities are reflective of our values, and whatever you wrote down is probably directly related to what you feel is important in your life.  This is different for everyone, which is good, because it makes everyone different.  How boring would it be to live in a homogenous world?

Priorities are also something I’ve been thinking a lot lately.  There’s a quote I’ve seen floating around that says, “If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way.  If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.” And I think that’s quite true.

Now think about all the things you’ve been meaning to do, but don’t have the time or money for.  This came up in a recent therapy session, where a client told me he wanted to get in shape but didn’t have the time or money to go to the gym.  This about 15 minutes after he bemoaned that “this really stupid game” was sucking up all his time and money.

This client is not the only person to recently tell me that Candy Crush is eating up large chunks of his life.  In fact, I can understand where all these people are coming from, because I, too, find myself playing this game much more frequently than I’d like.  For those of you who don’t know, Candy Crush is an addictive game for Facebook and smart phones, in which you try to match 3 candies of a the same color in a row so they explode and you can work towards a goal, which differs based on the level.  If you run out of moves, it offers you the opportunity to buy more moves, or get a special bonus candy that will help you, for just $1.99!  When you lose 5 times, the game tells you that you need to wait 30 minutes for the next life to become available, or you can spend just 99 cents and play again RIGHT NOW.  These fees, called “microfees” are common in the online gaming industry, and they feed right into the addiction people have to this particular game.

In this particular case, I asked the client if his health was a priority.  “Yes, definitely,” he said, “my top priority.”

“I’d like to respectfully disagree.  Would you like to know what I think your top priority is right now?”

(Obviously, you can see where this is going.)

“Candy Crush is your top priority right now.”

I tell this story to make a point.  You may think the best gauge of your priorities is what your values are, but the ACTUAL best gauge of your priorities is how you spend your time.

Keeping that in mind, here’s your bonus challenge.  Grab a small notebook you can fit in your purse or pocket, and write each of the priorities from the list at the top of its own page.  Then on another page, write a header like “Stuff I Do But Don’t Know Why” or “Mind-Numbing Time Wasters” or – if Candy Crush is the biggest thing in that category for you – just call the page “Candy Crush.”  Now, for one week, track the amount of time spent on each of those things and make a note on the corresponding page.  Are your priorities what you want them to be?

If not, think about shifting your actual priorities so that they match your desired priorities.

(Disclaimer: Candy Crush can absolutely be aligned with your priorities are to engage in leisure activities, decompress after a long day, etc.  The main point I’m trying to make is that if your desired priorities and the way you spend your time don’t line up, it’s worth considering how to fix that.)

Featured photo courtesy of Alper Cugun – CC 2.0