As a therapist, I have the privilege of sitting with people and helping them manage their insecurities and fears. Something that I’ve found to be profound and humbling is that as I go through my day, I hear the same worries expressed over and over.
What does this mean? Well, it means that when I’m having a day of self-doubt, chiding myself for not being perfect, or feeling envy towards someone who appears confident, attractive, successful, and together, the chance is good that they feel the same fears and insecurities that I do. Or even if their fears and insecurities are different, they’re still there. We’re all human, and we all have doubts, and we all have things we’d like to change.
I was thinking about this a few days ago – that I have the advantage of this inside view of what’s going on with people who often put forth an image of perfection or happiness. It occurred to me that I find this realization to be normalizing, validating, and calming, and maybe other people would too.
So for those of you who are insecure, a little bit worried, or just human, I put together this list of 25 things that lots of people think about. I hope you find it helpful.
1. Am I on the right path?
2. There’s not enough time.
3. What if they leave me?
4. I am faking my competence.
5. Someday, I will die.
6. Am I normal?
7. Am I broken?
8. I hate my body.
9. I don’t deserve this.
10. The past keeps getting in the way.
11. What do they say when I’m not around?
12. If I’d done more then, I could be more now.
13. I’m so ashamed.
14. I wish my family were different.
15. They wouldn’t like the real me.
16. I’m imposing.
17. Nothing ever really changes.
18. I could lose everything.
19. Please, see me. The real me.
20. I’m so stressed out.
21. What if I hurt them?
22. I want my life to have meaning.
23. What if things never change?
24. I’m faking my smile.
25. I bet nobody else feels like this.