100 Strategies to Help You Practice Self-Care

Last week, I wrote about the importance of self-care, and promised to follow it up with specific strategies for integrating it into your life. In other words, I gave you the “why.” Following is the “how.”

What is self-care?

Before we delve into the list, I think it’s important to talk about what self-care is and is not. The term gets thrown around a lot, and as a therapist, I’ve worked in places where it even becomes a bit of a joke. Here are a few examples:

“Man, rough day… I’m going to go home and drink a bottle of wine. Self-care!”

“Billy brought in donuts this morning and I’ve been watching what I eat but I’ll have two or three because, hey, self-care!”

Self-care, as defined on the University of Kentucky’s student affairs website, is any intentional action you take to improve your physical, mental, and emotional health. But the problem with the above examples is that while they may placate some emotional pain (stress, sadness, or something else) in the short-term, they’re going to cause more problems in the long-run than they solved.

What self-care is not is anything that’s an overindulgence likely to cause you long-term issues. That doesn’t mean if you eat three donuts or drink a bottle of wine, you should feel ashamed, but it’s not really accurate to call it self-care. Some examples of things that make people feel better in the short-term but worse in the long-term are substance use (including drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine, and energy drinks), bingeing on anything (unhealthy food, television, shopping), withdrawing socially, gossiping, and self-injury. These things, and others in this category, have a high likelihood of causing long-term pain or creating problems that will need to be solved later.

With this definition in mind, I have prepared a list of ways to engage in self-care. It’s organized into categories to address a lot of the ways you can use self-care, as well as a lot of situations that many people describe as barriers to self-care, such as not enough time, not enough money, etc. I encourage you to pick one or two of these things, rather than trying to take on a dozen all at once. When you find that you’ve done something or integrated it as part of your daily routine, come back to the list and find another one to try.

Taking Care of Your Mind

1. Do your Favorite Thing, whatever that may be, at least three times a week.
2. Change the way you use self-talk so that you’re being kinder to yourself.
3. Write in a journal.
4. Use grounding exercises to decrease feelings of stress or anxiety.
5. Do something mentally stimulating, like a crossword puzzle or Sudoku.
6. Read a book.
7. Go to a museum or historical site.
8. Learn the lyrics to a song you love.
9. Have an intellectually stimulating conversation with a loved one.
10. Sign up for a class at a community college or adult education center.
11. Learn about something new.
12. Learn more about something you already know a lot about.

Taking Care of Your Body

13. Go for a jog or a long walk.
14. Strength train, by lifting weights, doing calisthenics, trying Yoga, or anything else that makes your body stronger.
15. Stretch.
16. Play a sport you enjoy.
17. Get a massage.
18. Spend time outdoors. Soak up the sun. Don’t forget to wear sunscreen.
19. Consider changes to your diet. This is different than “going on a diet,” in that you’re observing the way different foods make you feel and making conscientious changes based on wanting to feel better rather than seeking a change to your body.
20. Dance, either in public or alone in your home.
21. Get plenty of sleep. If needed, improve your sleep hygiene.
22. Drink a lot of water. Most people don’t drink as much water as their bodies need.
23. Set an alarm so you remember to eat regular meals if you have a tendency to get caught up in work and forget.
24. Visit the doctor regularly for check-ups.

Taking Care of Your Spirit/ Emotions

25. Express your feelings. Don’t bottle up your emotions, because they tend to explode if you do.
26. Laugh.
27. Engage in random acts of kindness and altruism. This has been linked to mood boosting.
28. Cultivate a mindfulness practice.
29. Call someone and express gratitude to them for something they have done for you.
30. Meditate or pray, if that aligns with your belief or value system.
31. Seek therapy as needed to help make sense of your emotional experiences.
32. Change how you think to change how you feel. (See #2.)
33. Take emotional risks by being vulnerable with people who have earned your trust.
34. Accept uncomfortable emotions like anger, fear, sadness, disgust, embarrassment, and shame as part of what makes you human rather than something to be suppressed.
35. Play with an animal – your own pet or someone else’s.
36. Indulge your creativity by drawing, painting, sculpting, etc, even if you don’t think you’re good at it.
37. Sing, loudly.
38. Do something with a finite ending, like building IKEA furniture, baking a cake, making a quilt, or anything else that you can do, finish, and feel done with. Life has a lot of ambiguities, and it’s nice to feel a sense of completion.
39. Play a game. Studies show that adults who play are mentally and emotionally healthier.

Nurturing Your Relationships

40. Reach out to your best friend who always makes you feel better.
41. Call an old friend who you haven’t talked to in a long time.
42. Have deep conversations with family members.
43. Expand your circle of friends by going to community activities that align with your interests.
44. Create “families of choice” if your own family is unable to meet your needs.
45. Seek group therapy if you feel misunderstood by friends and family.
46. Join a community sports team, choir, or other similar group.
47. Talk to strangers.
48. Put your smart phone on silent and away and have a long conversation with a friend or family member.
49. Get to know the children in your life.
50. Make conversation with your neighbors.

If You Have Less Than 3 Minutes

51. Do 10 jumping jacks.
52. Set an alarm for 2 minutes and focus mindfully on your breathing, nonjudgmentally bringing yourself back from any distractions.
53. Look at a website that boosts your mood, like cuteoverload.com.
54. Do a power pose to increase your confidence and lower your stress.
55. Write down 3 things you feel grateful for.
56. Write down 3 things you like about yourself.
57. Take a quick work break to walk around your office.
58. Listen to an empowering song.
59. Write a “nice to meet you” or “thank you” email.

If You’re Feeling Overwhelmed

60. Make a to-do list.
61. Pick 2-3 small tasks and get them done so that you feel a sense of accomplishment.
62. Delegate work if possible.
63. Ask for help.
64. Vent to someone who you trust to help you find perspective.
65. Remind yourself that work and life stressors ebb and flow, and that there is an end in sight.
66. Ask a colleague if instead of meeting in an office, you can do a walking meeting to help get your blood pumping while you work.

If You Have More Time Than Money

67. Visit an interesting museum. Many have free or heavily discounted admission on certain days of the week.
68. Borrow an interesting-sounding book from the library.
69. Have a friend over for coffee or tea.
70. Google “free things to do in (your city)” and pick one. (Here is a list for Los Angeles.)
71. Volunteer somewhere that’s aligned with your values and passions: a soup kitchen, animal rescue, or crisis hotline.
72. Look up an old teacher, therapist, coach, or other influential person who had a significant positive influence on a long time ago and write them a letter or email telling them about the influence they had on your life.
73. Join a book club or a movie club.
74. Find a Meetup in your area that speaks to your interests and passions, and become a regular attendee.
75. Indulge in free local art, theatre, and concerts, especially in the summertime.
76. Go for a walk somewhere beautiful and outdoors, like a park, hiking area, or nature reserve.
77. If you live relatively close to work, jog or bike to the office to combine your daily exercise with your morning commute.

If You Have More Money Than Time

78. Find a housekeeper to clean your home or office.
79. Use a laundry service.
80. Skip cooking and go out to eat (or hire someone to cook a healthy meal for you, or have healthy food delivered through UberEats).
81. Move close to work so you can dedicate the time you spend commuting to things you enjoy.
82. If you are married with children, hire a babysitter and make a point to have a date night at least once a month.
83. Hire a personal assistant to help with household tasks.
84. Schedule a massage therapist to come to your home at least once a month to help you decompress.
85. Donate to an organization that’s aligned with your values and passions.
86. Have a landscape designer make your back yard feel like a refuge so that you can take mini-vacations by stepping out your back door.
87. Work with a personal organizer to create systems that streamline your day.
88. If you struggle with executive functioning, hire a coach who can help you learn relevant skills.

If You’re Burned Out

89. Take a vacation.
90. Ask for job responsibilities that excite you.
91. Focus on your hobbies and passions when not at work.
92. Schedule time for yourself. Put it on your calendar.
93. Make sure you’re meeting your basic needs by getting enough sleep, healthy food, and regular exercise.
94. If none of this works, consider a job (or even career) change.

If You Want Something Scientifically Proven to Boost Your Mood

95. Exercise in whatever way you enjoy in order to boost endorphins and dopamine, which improve your mood.
96. Develop a gratitude practice.
97. Do something nice for someone else.
98. Hug someone you care about for 30 seconds or more to produce oxytocin, which makes you feel safe.
99. Eat clean. Junk food affects your emotions as well as your body.
100. Open up to a trusted friend or family member, even though it feels scary and vulnerable. As Brene Brown tells us, connection is the most powerful antidote to shame.

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