Several years ago, an acquaintance from my gym turned to me, mid-workout, and said, “hey, I’ve always wanted to ask a therapist something. Are people just, like, really boring?” I was flabbergasted – not only because the answer is that [...]
When my toddler was a year old, I sat him in front of a giant art pad with a jumbo crayon into his hand. Of course, the first thing he did was put the crayon in his mouth, but with [...]
In July 1961, Nazi war criminal Adolf Eichmann stood trial in Jerusalem and claimed that he should not be held culpable for his own actions because he was “just following orders”. Stanley Milgram, a psychologist at Yale University, became intensely [...]
About five years ago, I decided to dismantle my life. This is not a melodramatic overstatement. I was living in Boston at the time. I had a long-term partner, an apartment, a gratifying full-time job at a community mental health [...]
I never tell people on airplanes that I’m a therapist. Early in my career, a colleague advised that if he wants to have a productive or relaxing flight, he tells his seatmate that he sells life insurance. But on a [...]
In the past few years, a new phenomenon has emerged in dating. Actually, it’s a very old phenomenon, but it has a shiny new name and is amplified by the advent of dating apps and other technology. It’s called ghosting. [...]
I recently became aware of a New York Times op-ed from earlier this year called “Unless You’re Oprah, ‘Be Yourself’ is Terrible Advice”. The article explains that while authenticity is the buzzword du jour, it’s actually not something most of us [...]
Recently (and not-so-recently), I’ve written a lot about assertiveness – how it can feel mean but is actually the kindest form of communication, and how being "nice" is overrated. One of the most viewed articles on this blog is about [...]
We all know the story of Little Red Riding Hood. She’s on her way to Granny’s house when she encounters a Big Bad Wolf who turns on the charm, waylays her, and coerces her into spending a bit more time [...]
A few weeks ago, I called a friend to wish him a happy birthday. We spent about half an hour catching up, first talking about his celebration plans, and then more general life events. As we were getting off the [...]