Here’s a meme I keep seeing on social media:
Guys, that’s bleak. Really, really bleak.
But beyond being bleak, it’s also a perfect summary of how I feel every time I find myself in a social media k-hole, endlessly scrolling, looking for…
…what, exactly?
Social media is a tool.
I’ve written before about social media. Specifically, I posted a blog article in early 2016 (almost a whole year before it felt like everything political was on fire) about how you should significantly decrease your use of Facebook.
For better or for worse, I’ve learned a lot in the last 4.5 years since I wrote that blog article. But one of the things I’ve learned is this:
Social media is not bad. It’s just a tool.
And like any tool, you can use it for good or for evil.
Facebook has helped a lot of grassroots social movements to grow. It’s built community within institutions. (The gym I used to go to, for example, had a very active Facebook group that helped me feel more connected to the other members in a way that got me out of bed at 6:30 AM to go get those endorphins pumping.)
It allows people to connect over shared experiences.
It serves as a forum to share life milestones with loved ones, and keep in touch with friends who live far away.
If you follow the right accounts, it can also provide educational tidbits, and support about wellness.
But it can also feel very, very bad.
What is doomscrolling?
When social media is a tool that you use for counterproductive purposes, it can be damaging to your mental health. It can escalate anxiety, feelings of hopelessness, and make you feel “stuck”. The more you feel stuck, the more you crave numbness. So, numbly, you scroll. And round and round you go.
I recently heard the phrase “doomscrolling”, which I thought was appropriate and resonant.
Here’s what that looks like:
- 8 PM – I’m just going to log onto Facebook quickly and post this photo of my in-laws’ new kitten.
- 8:01 PM – Oh no, Jessica posted a link to an article about how Trump admitted on Fox News that he’s trying to defund the postal service to sabotage the election! I’m just going to keep scrolling…
- 8:03 PM – Oof. LA County posted new COVID case numbers today… those are better than yesterday, but still pretty bleak.
- 8:05 PM – Look at that photo Sandy posted of himself at a restaurant… there are so many people, and none of them are wearing masks. Shit, we’re all going to be in our homes forever while these selfish jerks gallivant around spreading the virus.
- 8:06 PM – I should put my phone down, this doesn’t feel good… maybe I’ll just keep scrolling until I find something that makes me feel good?
- 8:07 PM – Steve posted a link to the latest report about vaccine development. I wish I understood what these phases actually mean…
- 8:09 PM – What the fuck is a firenado????
…
- 9:30 PM – Where did my evening go? Okay, now I actually am going to put my phone down.
- 10:15 PM – Wait, wasn’t I going to post that photo of a kitten?
I’ve heard a lot of clients talk about getting stuck in this cycle, so I know it’s not just me. For some people, it has nothing to do with social media. The related, Google-centric term is “doomsurfing”.
What I’ve found – both through my own experiences with this, and the things clients have shared with me – is that doomscrolling or doomsurfing isn’t just a waste of time; it also makes you feel like garbage.
How to stop doomscrolling.
Set a timer. In the above example, you may have noticed that I decided, at 8:06, that it was time to put my phone down, but I ultimately decided not to. When you’re doomscrolling, you may find that you’re at a crossroads like this. Even if you don’t feel quite ready to walk away from your phone, this presents an opportunity for you to set a limit for yourself. If your house is set up for it, try saying this phrase: “Alexa, set a 2 minute Facebook timer.” Alternately, you can just use the timer on your phone.
Write down your intention. Before you open Facebook to post that photo of your cat, pick up a pen and paper. Or, barring that, open the notepad app. And write or type: “I am going to post a photo of my cat on Facebook.” This focuses you on the task at hand, and helps you stay oriented to it.
Switch apps. Something that can help you stop Doomscrolling is if you have a shortlist of other apps you can use that don’t make you feel bad. Here are some suggestions: Duolingo, Headspace, Audible, Spotify, any game you like to play. (But a word of caution about games: some of them, like Candy Crush, are just another invitation to numb out until you look up and wonder where the whole day went.)
Set media boundaries. I’ve started putting my phone on the charger an hour before I intend to go to sleep. We already know that avoiding screens before bed is good sleep hygiene, but now it also helps me give my brain a little bit of distance from how hard things are right now. This can help combat the insomnia that so many people are newly dealing with. Other ways to set boundaries are to commit to only using social media when you’re by yourself, and to limit the amount of time you spend on these apps. (You can even download an app limiter to help you enforce this.)
Verbally commit. Say out loud: “I am logging out of Facebook now.” This verbally reinforces your intention to move onto something else. And even if you’re only saying this to yourself, it makes you feel more committed to follow through.
By the way…
I got a little bit distracted by writing this post about doomscrolling – but here’s that kitten photo I promised you earlier:
