After posting a blog article a few months ago about the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, I’ve had a lot of people ask me how they can find out what their love language is.
Thus, I give you:
The 5 Love Languages Quiz
1. Which of these things would make you feel most loved by your partner?
a) Being told “I love you”
b) A long kiss
c) Coming home to a clean house
d) Coming home to flowers
e) A long conversation about meaningful life experiences
2. How did your parents show you love when you were growing up?
a) By praising me
b) Lots of hugs
c) By driving me to all my extracurricular activities
d) Surprise gifts
e) By planning special “Mom and me” or “Dad and me” outings
3. It’s the middle of the day and even though you’re at work, you want to let your partner know how much you care. You:
a) Send them a text message that says: “Just want to let you know I’m thinking of you.”
b) Send them a text message that says: “Thinking about how hot tonight is going to be…”
c) Send them a text message that says: “I’ll pick up your dry cleaning on the way home.”
d) Surprise them with a lunch delivery to their office.
e) Call on your lunch break to connect verbally and listen as they tell you about their morning.
4. You’re feeling really under the weather, and you’re so grateful for your best friend because they just did what?
a) Told you that you’re a trooper and that they admire your ability to “hang in there”
b) Rubbed your aching shoulders
c) Changed the garbage bag that was overflowing with your dirty tissues
d) Brought you chicken soup
e) Sat with you and swapped war stories about illnesses past
5. Your child (or niece/nephew, or close friend’s child) is so sweet and loving. This is what s/he just did to show you s/he cares.
a) Told you that you’re the best mother/father/aunt/uncle/etc ever!
b) Gave you a huge bear hug that barreled you over
c) Cleaned their room without being asked (or in preparation for your visit)
d) Made you a drawing of the two of you together
e) Included you in their make-believe game
6. For a date night with your partner to be truly excellent, the following is a necessary ingredient:
a) A compliment about how nice you look
b) Sex
c) They have to have taken care of the logistics for the evening.
d) They pick up the check.
e) Feeling heard and connecting on a deep level
7. If you’re angry, what action from your partner is the most likely to help you calm down?
a) They say the right thing.
b) They hold you tightly.
c) They take care of a household task you’ve been asking them to do for ages.
d) They get you an “I’m sorry” gift.
e) They sit and listen to what you’re saying, giving feedback that lets you know they’ve heard you.
8. I like many people, but only for someone I love would I…
a) Be vulnerable enough to tell them how wonderful I think they are
b) Hug them for more than 5 seconds
c) Pick them up from the airport
d) See something in the store that reminds me of them, and buy it “just because”
e) Leave work early to support them through something difficult
9. I know someone loves me when they give me ___.
a) A genuine and sincere compliment
b) A kiss on the cheek
c) A homemade meal
d) A gift that reflects my personality or interests
e) A chunk of time in their busy schedule
10. How do you know an acquaintance has become a very close, loving friend?
a) You tell each other so, directly.
b) Playful shoves and lots of high fives
c) You feel comfortable asking them for a favor.
d) They get you something awesome for your birthday.
e) You can spend hours of unstructured time together and not get bored.
Determining Your Love Language
Count how many of each response you have, and use the below guidelines:
If you have mostly A, your love language is Words of Affirmation.
If you have mostly B, your love language is Physical Touch.
If you have mostly C, your love language is Acts of Service.
If you have mostly D, your love language is Receiving Gifts.
If you have mostly E, your love language is Quality Time.
For more information about the five love languages, and what each of them means, you can read my previous blog article on the subject.