The short answer is: Slowly… And then all at once.
We’ll get to the longer answer, but first, some context.
I am closing the group practice.
I started my Los Angeles private practice in April of 2015, and in March 2017, almost 5 years ago, I hired two wonderful pre-licensed therapists and started a group practice. That was the beginning of a huge professional identity shift for me. I went from being a therapist in private practice to a business owner and employer. But recently, I’ve been yearning to go back to my roots, and to reconnect with what I am best at and most passionate about: Therapy.
So about a month ago, I sat down with each member of my staff individually, and told them that at the end of the year, Through the Woods Therapy Center will become Through the Woods Therapy, and I will be the only employee. Furthermore, I’m moving the practice from our old downtown high rise to the home office therapy hut pictured at the top of this article. I am excited to transition from being a business owner who does therapy back to being a therapist who owns a business.
Although this may seem like a large and sudden shift, it wasn’t a sudden or impulsive decision. It was the result of a lot of circumstances and life changes – most prominently:
- Becoming a parent led me to reassess my priorities and yearn for more simplicity in my professional life.
- The pandemic made me yearn for more collegial and peer connections, and fewer hierarchical (employer/ employee) ones.
And so, effective at the New Year, I’ll no longer have employees. Through the Woods will still exist, but it will just be me – seeing my clients, writing my case notes, and then having more balance and space for the other parts of my life.
This change is not one of necessity – if anything, the pandemic increased demand for therapy services. And it has nothing to do with my employees. I’ve been very fortunate to have hired some of the most fabulous clinicians I’ve ever met, and I’ll almost certainly continue to refer clients to them. I’m not moving away from something aversive; I’m moving towards something positive.
But enough about me – What does this have to do, more broadly, with how people take huge leaps in life?
Slowly, and then all at once.
This transition of closing my group practice has led me to reflect on other times I’ve made major life changes, as well as all of the leaps I’ve been privileged to watch my clients take over the years.
Job and career changes, relocations to a new city, getting a pet, coming out, cutting off a family member, going back to school, having a child, getting married, leaving a relationship, divesting from diet culture, setting boundaries, and, and, and…
From the outside, these things can seem impulsive. Sometimes they are, but more often they’re the culmination of a lot of emotional work behind the scenes.
It’s like that tried and true metaphor about only seeing the tip of the iceberg. You see the decision, but not all of the work that went into getting there. And to build on that metaphor, not only are you seeing only a portion of what’s there, but that iceberg was growing a long, long time before it broke the surface of the water.
When I tell people I’m closing my group practice, they say, “oh wow, that’s a big decision.”
And they’re right, it is. That’s why I spent months imagining how conversations with my staff should be handled, and filled Excel spreadsheets with budget and revenue projections, and discussed it ad nauseum with the people closest to me. This isn’t a busy-brag. On the contrary, with a few personality-driven variations, this is how most people make big choices in their lives.
What to do if you’re trying to make a major life change
If you’re reading this, it’s probably because you found our (my???) website while looking for a therapist. And by definition, that likely means that you’re on the precipice of a pretty big life change.
Some people who start therapy know something’s gotta give, but don’t have a clear picture of what that thing is. But many come in asking for help to make a specific decision. And I want to speak, for a moment, to that latter group.
Trying to make a big choice or change can fill a bit like losing your mind. You may lose sleep, make endless lists, or wear thin the patience of loved ones who ask, “can we please talk about something else?” But this process isn’t insanity; like anything that elicits big feelings, it’s information.
When you can’t stop thinking about something, that’s your brain’s way of pointing you in a direction. “This thing is important, so let’s pay attention to it.”
Brené Brown says that part of the vulnerability process is trying every comfortable option until you’ve exhausted all options except the unthinkable. And that’s when you take a blind leap into the abyss.
If you’re working through something, or preparing for that leap, I’d love to support you. It’s such a messy, human process, and it’s so very normal to need support through it.
You can find me at my new private practice: Through the Woods Therapy – no Center.