Welcome to 2017! It’s time to make some resolutions for the New Year! But how do you do that in a way to maximize your likelihood of success? Let’s start by identifying your New Year’s Resolution style with a fun little quiz!
1. How do your resolutions compare to those you’ve made before?
A) I did everything I set out to do last year, and now it’s time for new resolutions!
B) My New Year’s Resolutions are always the same, and I’ve been stuck in this rut for as long as I can remember.
C) I made, like, 12 different resolutions, and I don’t really remember what most of them were…
D) I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions. They’re stupid – nothing ever changes.
2. What’s standing in your way of achieving your resolutions?
A) If there are things standing in my way, I know what they are and take steps to change them. I’ve made big changes in my life before, so I know that I can overcome any barriers.
B) I don’t know… me? I lack motivation and I guess I don’t care enough to make actionable change, but I really wish that weren’t the case.
C) I start out strong, ready to change my life completely, but then I feel pulled in too many directions and I burn out.
D) I am who I am. I don’t really think that I can change, so why bother trying?
3. How do you let it be known that you’re trying to make changes in your life?
A) I post it on social media, and I make sure that I tell all of my close friends and family members directly so that they can help me to hold myself accountable.
B) I keep it to myself so that I’m not embarrassed when I mess up. But I know – that’s what matters, right?
C) I make a big list of about 10 things I want to do differently, and I put it on my refrigerator. I posted a photo of the list to Instagram and a lot of people liked it, so I think it’s a good list. I look at it every day to see if I’m on the right track.
D) I really hate when people go around talking about the changes they’re going to make – like come on, we know you’re not actually going to do that! So I don’t tell anyone.
4. Who’s to blame when you “slip up” on your resolutions?
A) Me, mostly, but balanced with the idea that I’m a human being who makes mistakes sometimes and I should be pretty self-compassionate about the whole thing.
B) Other people, and society, because everything is a minefield when you’re trying to make change, and also my friends and family don’t support me in the way that I know I need them to sometimes.
C) Ugh, me, because I’m such a screw-up – I don’t know why I can’t just make all these changes in my life… I’d be so much happier and healthier!
D) It’s biology. We’re just not wired to make changes. We’re all going to be how we’ve always been. Some people are wired to be a certain way and some people aren’t.
5. How do you construct the wording of your resolution?
A) I write specific goals that delineate what I want to achieve in measurable terms, and put dates on my calendar to check back in on my progress.
B) I have a pretty vague sense of what I want – to be happier and healthier, I guess. So that’s what I write down, but I don’t even know how I would begin to think about measuring it.
C) I make a list of the resolutions, but I don’t pay too much attention to how I formulate them. There are too many of them for me to really spend a lot of time wordsmithing.
D) I muse on the idea that it would be nice to change some things, but it can’t happen, so what’s the point?
Your resolution style:
Mostly A’s: You’re a New Year’s Resolution Pro!
You’ve got this down pat! You set achievable and measurable goals, maybe using the “SMART Goals” formula, and take actionable steps, such as making changes to your physical environment and lifestyle, that will help you maximize the chance of success. You get a team of support people and “accountabilibuddies” on your side. You’re familiar with the 3 tenets of lasting change, and while you may slip up sometimes, you know that it’s best to forgive yourself and move forward.
Mostly B’s: You’re a Hopeful Aspirer!
You want it so badly you can taste it! You know that other people make changes all the time, and you can’t understand why it’s so hard for you to be successful. It seems like you’re trying, year after year, to make the same lifestyle changes and falling short. It’s time to become curious about the barriers in your way and actively take steps to eliminate them… and a little bit of self-compassion wouldn’t hurt either.
Mostly C’s: You’re an Overambitious Goal Setter!
You want it all, and you want it now! You make a really ambitious list of goals you want in the New Year, and you go strong for about a month… before completely burning out. You do this because being an adult is hard. You do this because you took on too much at once. You do this because life is short and it feels like there’s never enough time. This year, do a little bit of triage on your list, and pick just one thing to make a priority.
Mostly D’s: You’re a Fixed Mindset Devotee!
When I was in middle school, I took a computer class and I was the slowest typist in the class. I thought, “I’m just no good at this, these other kids are just better typists than I am.” Then I spent an entire summer buried in Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing, and now I type over 100 words per minute. The moral of this story is that when you’re not good at something, it’s easy to integrate that shortcoming as a piece of your identity, as “just how you are”. But that idea – called a fixed mindset – is a really damaging fallacy. Try aiming instead for a growth mindset: “This is where I am right now, but with a little bit of practice every day, I can make realistic and significant changes to my life.”
If you’re looking for a little bit of support in constructing amazing New Year’s Resolutions, I’m doing a few talks about this: lunchtime at the Downtown LA Public Library on January 23rd and after work at WeWork Downtown LA on the evening of January 24th. See my speaking page for details. I’m looking forward to seeing you there!